Don't Worry, be Happy

What goes on in my mind is out of control. If it all gets out somehow, the world might explode. With all the boys stories anf dramas, my mind thinks it knows whats suppose to happen next, and thinks it knows what things guys say mean. But sometimes, Life throws you a curve ball and a totally new guy steps into your life, and changes totally how you feel about love. I may only be 16 and it could just be my crazy girlie want for love talking but i think this is real. My boyfriend frustrates me, makes me crazy, worries me out of my mind, but he does this all out of love. And i think because of all this our relationship is stronger. We tell eachother everything, have no secrets, and i am more comfortable than i've ever been. I never thought i could love someone this much. And the craziest thing is that we are totally different people. i never would have thought we would ever have gone out and look at me now, this is the longest relationship i've ever had! People tell me all the time that they are so surprised that im dating him, and you know what so am i! but im happy about it. they say that hes wrong for me, and i could do better. But you know what? Life shouldn't be about pleasing other people, life shouldn't have to be about doing that should be right, it should be able what feels right and what's in your heart. If you want to go sky diving, go sky diving, even if someone says no. Do what makes you happy. Cuz at the end of the day, its your life.

Goody Goodies

So today I read about the Hershey chocolate and what they are doing, or should I said what they ARENT doing. I don't see why they don't confront the problem and attack it. Many other companies are doing such and are still making alot of money. Hershey is just too greedy, it isn't such a big difference to switch suppliers, they'd still make a lot of money like they want. And with fair trade chocolate so many young children and other people won't get hurt or live an unhappy life, that it should be worth a few extra dollars for the company, and the few couple cents for the costumer. I just wish I could happily buy and eat a reeses without feeling guilty.

What's on my mind on 1.2.11

So what's on my mind at the moment is music. I love music sooo much and I could sing all day and all night. When I'm upset, and it doesn't feel like any amount of ice cream or sleep could fix, I sing. It makes me feel good inside and helps me forget about what happened. The music I listen too have the most amazing lyrics. Taylor Swift's songs apply to me and I can connect to them so well. On her newest CD almost every one of her songs apply to me.
Sparks Fly-
"I'll run my fingers through your hair
And watch the lights go wild
Just keep on keeping your eyes on me
It's just wrong enough to make it feel right

And lead me up the staircase
Won't you whisper soft and slow
I'm captivated by you, baby
Like a fireworks show"
This is how I felt about Kyle. I was crazy about him. I thought he meant so much to me. When I was with him it felt like I was at a fireworks show....

The Story of Us-
"I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us,
How we met
And the sparks flew instantly
And people would say they're the lucky ones

I used to know my place was a spot next to you,
Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat
Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on

Oh, a simple complication,
Miscommunications lead to fallout,
So many things that I wish you knew
So many walls up that I can't break through

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room
And we're not speaking
And I'm dyin' to know
Is it killing you
Like it's killing me?
Yeah
I don't know what to say since a twist of fate, when it all broke down
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

Next chapter

How'd we end up this way?
See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy
And you're doing your best to avoid me
I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us
Of how I was losing my mind when I saw you here
But you held your pride like you should have held me,
Oh I'm scared to see the ending why are we pretending this is nothing
I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how
I've never heard silence quite this loud.

(Chorus)
Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room
And we're not speaking
And I'm dying to know
Is it killing you
Like it's killing me?
Yeah
And I don't know what to say since a twist of fate, when it all broke down
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

This is looking like a contest
Of who can act like they care less
But I liked it better when you were on my side

The battle's in your hands now
But I would lay my armor down
If you say you'd rather love than fight

So many things that you wish I knew
But the story of us might be ending soon

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room
And we're not speaking
And I'm dying to know
Is it killing you
Like it's killing me?
Yeah
And I don't know what to say since a twist of fate, when it all broke down
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now
Now, Now, Now

And we're not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me?
Yeah
And I don't know what to say since a twist of fate, cause we're going down.
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now
The End"
I felt like this. This whole thing the week before he broke up with me and a week after. He just never tried to talk to me even tho he said he would. And instead of looking at me and talking to me and coming up tome like he used to. He just avoided me. Everyone would say how. Ute we were and how it was so great. That we were lucky. It felt so normal with him. Like I didn't have to try hard and I could just be myself and he liked me for me. Like being with him was where I was suppose to be and where I wanted to me. But then those two weeks I felt like i just need to step away and find a seat on my own. Not right next to him....
Haunted-
"Something's made your eyes go cold

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Something's gone terribly wrong
You're all I wanted

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Can't breathe whenever you're gone
Can't turn back now, I'm haunted"
I look at him so differently now. The way he looks at me now. Well the way how he DOESNT look at me anymore. Its not the same. He'll never be how he was with me anymore. How can he just leave me like that. One day, he's so sweet and says he cares and loves me but then the next day just say he can't have girlfriend. Sometime did go terribly wrong and I was just haunted by him. Everywhere i looked reminded me of him.

Last kiss-
"Told me you loved me
So why did you go away?"
"All that I know is that
I don't know how to be something you miss
> I never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this"
"Because I love your handshake, meeting my father
I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets"
"And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe
And I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are
Hope it's nice where you are

And I hope the sun shines
And it's a beautiful day
And something reminds you
You wish you had stayed
You can plan for a change in weather and town
But I never planned on you changing your mind"
I don't want him back but I hope he realizes what he doesn't have anymore.

And so thats everything lol I guess it's like all about Kyle. I wish it wasn't hahaha